Dispatches from the Time of the Virus IX: Everything Counts in Large Amounts...Especially Toilet Paper

     Remember when one of the worst parts of the coronavirus/COVID-19 crisis was a lack of toilet paper available in many stores? Talk about your simpler, more innocent days, as the pandemic’s toll approaches 110,000 deaths in the USA and too many people still don’t take it seriously or believe in one of the many conspiracy theories about it. But I want to keep one entry of “Dispatches from the Time of the Virus” a little lighter, so here is the story of toilet paper and good things coming in large packages.

It's a beauty, isn't it?

     Sometime in April, I was planning on buying some toilet paper during my weekly grocery shopping at Wegmans on Amherst Street in Buffalo. While toilet paper shortages had begun to be reported, in Buffalo and Western New York, it was mostly a shortage of two-ply toilet paper and in packages of 4, 6 and more rolls. My lovely wife Val and I live and own our home in Buffalo’ Elmwood Village/West Side neighborhood; the house was built in 1900, and it still has a good amount of its original plumbing, so we are a serious single-play household. When you combine that with my anal nature of never wanting to be low nothing’s like toilet paper, we always have several rolls own the house, and I probably get itchy when we get below six rolls on hand.

     Wegmans and most grocery and department stores I have checked established policies early on of allowing only one package of toilet paper per purchase; with single-ply toilet paper sold only in single rolls (or so I thought), as I found out on previous occasions at Wegmans, I had to buy one roll a week and hope our usage didn’t surpass that. There were even a couple weeks when Wegmans had no single-ply rolls for sale. I was hoping for four or six packs of one-ply to be sold, but never saw them. So, this week in April, I went down the aisle where the toilet paper was stocked, and saw they had a display of single roll, single-ply, and grabbed one.

     Suddenly, I heard angels, looked up and to my left, and there, on the shelf, was…a display of about 15 packages of 20 rolls each of single-ply toilet paper. It was the best I had felt after seeing something unexpected since my sister-in-law Tricia pointed out my wedding ring at the bottom of the deep send of a swimming pool at the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas the day after Val and I got married there in 2002. I may have actually thrown the single roll of toilet paper back on the shelf before I grabbed the package calling me and got in the checkout line. I knew that it would be its own package in the shopping cart and the car on the drive home, but I forgot that the previously largest package of toilet paper ever in our house was six rolls. Even though we have a cupboard with shelves above the toilet in our half-bath on the bottom floor of our house, I soon found out that there was no way this package would fit on any of the shelves, even after I rearranged things. So, the sizable package was placed next to our bullet garbage can in the kitchen, where it remains, until we use just a bit

Dispatches from the Time of the Virus VIII: I've Got a New Mask, Ooh Wee Ooh, Not Something Too Demanding

     So, I bought/ordered a new mask last week and it was delivered Tuesday; you can see me wearing it in the accompanying photograph here. Pretty cool, isn’t it? This gives me three cloth masks, this one and two white ones issued by Erie County that all employees actually working received in April. I also have a small stash of one-use surgical masks.

     I plan to buy at least one more cloth mask. Why the multiple masks? Because I do not believe for a moment that we are out of the woods from the dangers and effects of the coronavirus/COVID-19 crisis, and I most certainly do not trust too many people who want to open up Buffalo, Erie
County and Western New York fast, way too fast in my opinion, before we have really gotten the virus under control and reduced the deaths and hospitalizations to a better, as in lower, level.

     I’m pretty sure no one is happy that people are out of work, operate businesses, unable to work, fully participate in their educations, family and social lives, and sadly, some may be trapped with abusers. But due to the sometimes vehement disagreement with New York State’s Pause, advocated by Governor Andrew Cuomo in the face of wrong-minded, fact-free and often vile opposition, along with the too frequent and often intentional not following of mask wearing, social distancing and gathering rules, I don’t trust that enough people in Buffalo and Western New York will act lawfully or in healthful manners for me to be safe. Good lord, phase I of the reopening of Buffalo and WNY just started a few days ago, and some people are trying to rush phases 2-4 as well as jump activities scheduled in certain phases ahead. We don’t even know how well this area and its residents will do in phase 1 and we want to just plunge ahead? It’s been in effect a few days, people; slow the fuck down and let’s see through facts and actual events what happens. It should be no surprise to realize that at least one local television station and radio station are working the rush to reopen trap; you can probably figure out who this is.

     I’ve been working through the COVID-19 crisis as well as doing the family grocery shopping and pharmacy visits, and walking Harold, our dog, and I have been taking in everyday incidents, good and bad. I’ve seen people adhering to the mask wearing and social distancing rules. Kudos to Trader Joe’s for doing a good job here, as well as Elmwood Pet Supplies and Rite Aid, and a host of restaurants. But yes, sometimes people don’t follow rules, in these areas and at work, both which I previously mentioned. I forgot to note another recent work situation: I have to visit the office of an elected Erie County official (not the county executive) in the Rath Building on regular business. That has changed during the COVID-19 crisis, and the business on the visits is now handled via email. But when we received a check that had to be hand delivered, I took it up to the office. The receptionist, who was on the telephone, not only did not have a mask over her face, it was not even around her neck, but laid on the desk. I stood back about 15 feet while she was on the telephone, and when she was done, she noted she had left her mask on the desk without putting it on’ I placed the check on top of the Manila folder I carried it in and reached it over to her as far as my arms would reach, then quickly left.

     Since the above was written, early Saturday night, May 23, Val, Harold and I visited Front Park on Buffalo’s West Side near the Peace Bridge, wearing masks. It’s a site we regularly visit which is never crowded, most people follow the mask rules and there is enough room that social distancing is easy. While the walking part around the track near the Columbus Parkway neighborhood and some other parts was not busy, there was a large number of cars parked near the cannons facing the I-190 holding what appeared to be a prearranged party. I counted 27 cars parked in this area, playing music with people standing in a few groups, and 5-7 more cars joined them. “So much for social distancing,” Val said, as we changed our route from that part of the park and headed back to our car.

      I may stop ending these entries with conclusions, because it is redundant to note we have to avoid stupid, mean spirited and startlingly uneducated people and hope that a modicum of respect and caring for others returns to help fight this coronavirus.  

Dispatches From the Time of the Virus VII: I'm Going Down to Canalside to Do Nothing All the Days...

Canalside, Buffalo, 1:30 PM Friday, May 15, 2020. insanely quiet.

     Some aspects of the everyday effects of the coronavirus/COVID-19 become closer to normal than expected, but still don’t totally sit right with me. One that I witness is the daily lower amount of pedestrian and vehicular traffic, for me mainly in downtown Buffalo and Buffalo’s Elmwood Village/West Side.

     As I previously stated in this series, driving to where I park on my way to work, and walking the rest of the way in downtown Buffalo to the Rath Building for my job at the Erie County Department of Social Services, remains scarily quiet. Not only is there way less vehicular traffic and swaths of empty parking spaces, but barely any pedestrian traffic when I walk from my parking to work at about 7:55-8:20 AM, depending on my promptness. I can basically cross against the light at any intersection I walk across on my 3/4-mile walk (I could shorten it but enjoy the exercise), something I wouldn’t consider doing during pre-COVID-19 times. It is exactly the same on my walk back to the car at the end of the day, about the only interruptions of normalcy the construction work at the proposed grocery store/residence/mixed-use development on Clinton Street next to the Buffalo and Erie County Public Libraries main library and NFTA Metro buses, although they have way less passengers. The Metro rapid transit line, which I cross on my way to work, also remains at about 10-20 percent of its normal passenger load.

     Depicting this remains difficult, as I previously wrote, because it is hard to show if these occurrences are just off-times or weekend events or actual desolation during the coronavirus, But as the weather improves and my lunchtime walks increase in distance and variety, I am finding other ways to try to show people this. Last week Wednesday and Friday, I changed my walk route to go toward the water (Lake Erie) and ended up at Canalside at the foot of Pearl Street. Canalside has somehow, despite Buffalo’s reputation for previously not being able to utilize a natural setting such as a Great Lake, become a destination and the site of the Buffalo Naval and Servicemen’s Park, featuring ships, aircraft and other military items, as well as the Explore & More Children’s Museum, a skating rink and a summer concert series of the same name.

     My Wednesday visit really surprised me, because I was expecting at least a good number of walkers or runners to be at Canalside or at least the streets leading to it. But Canalside itself was basically deserted; I counted two people on the massive grounds and less than 10 runners or walkers going to and from it. This was despite temperatures in the upper 50s or lower 60s and no rain. When I returned Friday, I went to the first area I visited Wednesday and it was deserted again, but I went further into and around Canalside, and it remained a ghost town. I took the accompanying photo during Friday’s visit, with no worry of it being interrupted. I found two people sitting at opposing ends of a bench at one of the walkways near a drained canal, kind of just staring at the water.

     As deserted and strange as things are, I was more than glad to see Canalside empty, because I believe that things are not even a tenth of the way back to normal, with way too many people being sick and dying of COVID-19, as well as about to get sick. Some idiots are endangering everybody, from doctors, nurses, medical professional, police, firefighters, EMTs and other first responders, by not wearing masks and not staying home when it’s not necessary to be out. Being “essential” personnel myself and still seeing clients/the public as well as conducting other aspects of our job, I am glad we have a mandatory face mask policy at Erie County/the Rath Building. This does not mean that the policy is not violated at times; I was trapped on an elevator for three floors with two workers not wearing masks/not wearing them properly last week when my glasses were fogged up and I couldn’t see this right away; my mask was fortunately properly on. Nobody wants to see businesses and workers hurt and out of jobs/losing money, but I don’t want to see anyone contract COVID-19 and die in a rush to return to “normal.”

     My across the street neighbor, who I won’t name for good reasons, made a wise comment last week: “I can’t stand this term, the ‘new normal.’ I don’t want this to be normal; we shouldn’t have people dying, people getting sick and having to take all of these precautions forever and closing businesses forever. But we have to take this all seriously and flatten the curve, at the very least.” He and his wife were in home quarantine for 14 days in late March and early April because his wife, an ICU nurse at a well-known and regarded local hospital, came into direct contact with a patient who has COVID-19. Fortunately, she, he and their young child all tested negative for COVID-19.

     Be smart, stay healthy, be careful and wear masks, everybody.

Dispatches from the Time of the Virus VI: The Stupid and Dangerous Are Strong with This One...and Many Others

Wear your masks and I'll stop with the selfies...

     Sometimes, when I recite events through dialogue, some people wonder how much embellishment occurs; I can guarantee that 98-100 percent of the dialogue quoted here is accurate/verbatim.

     Saturday, May 9, I picked up dinner for my lovely wife Val from a Vietnamese restaurant on Buffalo’s West Side on my way home from grocery shopping; I will not name it here because it was the victim of the following douche nozzle’s actions and did not cause/precipitate them.

     As I entered the restaurant, a sign in the now-deserted downstairs bar/serving area told people to go upstairs to pick up their meals; as I headed to the stairs, I could hear that someone was already up there. It turned out to be a man, about age 65, working for one of those food-delivery businesses, picking up two or three orders. He was talking to a staffer of the restaurant, so I stayed on the stairs to leave some distance; this turned out to be a good choice.

     “I know it wasn’t you people, but remember, the USA fought and beat the Japanese in the Pacific as well as Germany in Europe in World War II,” this genius said. “What I mean is that we need to fight this alleged virus. We need to fight and attack it, and not wear masks and gloves and stay separate and be afraid of it.”  He expounded on a few more similar topics, with lots of “you know?” tossed in. He then noted the orders he was picking up said they were for “John,” and that his name was “Joe,” and he proceeded to recite each order from memory to confirm that he was the proper person to pick up these deliveries.

     All the while, I kept hoping for him to just pick up the food and leave; when he did, just as I had feared, he was not wearing a mask. He noticed me for the first time, smiled, lowered his voice a bit and said, “Hey, how are you doing?” “FINE,” I spit back through gritted teeth, and I think he got the message, because he slinked against the wall and virtually ran out of the restaurant, probably not even hearing me call after him,” “Nice mask, idiot.”

     I’d like to write that I commiserated with the restaurant staff over this idiot, but it turns out that they forgot to check the online ordering account and hadn’t started Val’s dinner yet, so I went back downstairs for 5 minutes or so while they made it and I finally left for home.

Dispatches from the Time of the Virus V: I Guess You Call It a Rally When Your Cause Is This Far Behind

    

Is this a deep state effort to control your soap?

What if they held a rally, and, well, almost no one rallied?

     Friday, May 1, a Rally to Free New York, or some such nonsense, was scheduled and more or less held in downtown Buffalo, as well as other sites across New York State. The “rallies” were to protest that many businesses and other activities remain closed, or at least severely limited, due to the coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic that has killed more than 60,000 Americans in two-three months. You know, how it is such an affront to the Constitutional and other rights to prevent people from participating in activities that might spread the virus and make themselves and other sick, like social distancing (staying 6 feet apart), keeping non-essential businesses closed, allowing restaurants to be open for carryout only and to make people wear facemasks in most public settings.

     The Buffalo rally was slated in front of the Rath Building, the main building of Erie County government and business, including the offices of the county executive, county comptroller and several large departments, including mine, the Erie County Department of Social Services. Conservative estimates would place about 1,000-1,500 county employees working in the 16-story Rath Building, which also contains its own Erie County Sheriff’s Office substation; hundreds, if not thousands, of citizens conduct business in this building each day under normal circumstances, but way less during this COVID-19 crisis. County Rath Building employees received an email several days before the rally, noting when and where it would be held and mentioning some of the basic setup changes and how to avoid the crowd (if one wanted to, I suppose). Prudently, the plans expected a large rally turnout and complications caused by it.

     Come Friday, a day I was on my alternating work schedule, and as I walked from my parking about 3/4 mile from the Rath Building, I took my usual long route and walked to the front of the building off Franklin Street, with both employee and public entrances, instead using the employee entrance off Pearl Street. Some barriers had already been put up in front of the now-closed public parking ramp under the Rath Building, as well as at the small staff parking ramp, and a group of guidance barriers, for lack of better term, were placed near the employee and public entrances to funnel pedestrian traffic approaching the building into organized areas. At that point, there were only some of the barriers up, and little change to the traffic pattern except that it was easier to get to the building by using then side steps than those directly in front of the doors. Workers continued arranging the barriers, making the lines of sorts leading to the building even more organized when I went on my lunch walk at about 1:20 PM.

     Melissa and I, the two people working on our alternating team/shift in the cashier’s office that day (out of the “normal” compliment of four workers and a supervisor), noticed that we had a damn good view of whatever would happen; our office is on the fourth floor, and our windows look directly over the site of the planned rally, the sidewalk and steps coming up from the sidewalk So, along with everything else, we were able to tell from the start how well this rally would or wouldn’t be attended, and pretty much knew that attendance would, to be kind, be on the low side. Neither of us spent even a minute going to the windows just to look, but the printer we use for the financial documents we need is located near the window on the left, the one most directly over the rally site. It gave us frequent opportunities for observations without having to detour from our work areas. Even at 2:30 PM, there were maybe 5 people walking back and forth the length of the block in front of our building; a few minutes later, as far as we could tell, the first group with pennants or banners and a pickup truck or two showed up. The signs and banners were disappointing; one pro-President Trump banner on a pole and a couple of handmade signs for him, with most of the preprinted signs a version or two of ”Don’t Tread on Me” or other Libertarian clown car supporting slogans. And yes, despite the fact there is no direct connection between opening up New York State or anywhere else and this, there were plenty of pro-Second Amendment signs. I realize that there are many of these protestors who use the Second Amendment (too often without having read or understood it) and possession of firearms, and the accompanying delusions of overthrowing the government or thinking they’re greater patriots than others, as personal inadequacy Viagra, making them, mostly males, feel stronger and more fulfilled in their empty but dangerous way. Also, with Governor Andrew Cuomo having helped develop and signing into law the NY SAFE Act, as well as smartly supporting measures to keep New York as closed and people home as much as possible to help fight the spread of COVID-19 and to flatten the disease’s growth curve, there was an anti-Cuomo flavor present..

    But pulling out the old tricks and adding them to new ones, to opposing staying at home and keeping nonessential businesses closed, apparently wasn’t enough to bring the alleged masses out of their homes and to downtown Buffalo, although enough of these reopening supporters don’t come downtown, or to the city, often anyway. At best, it appeared that about 50 ralliers showed up, as well as a few pickup trucks and vehicles circling the Rath Building. One truck referred to the governor as “Lord Cuomo,” always a reminder of how badly Cuomo defeated his GOP/rightwing opponents in gubernatorial elections, including Buffalo’s own idiotic jackbooter, Carl Paladino. I suppose it should be no surprise that I was only able to identify one person of color who did not appear to be a member of the media at the rally. If you notice that I am not overly detailing the rally, it is because pretty much little occurred, and even less of note. The sign waving was pretty average, and the chanting was, well, less than enchanting, A couple of efforts failed and sounded like almost rhythmic groaning, and the one chant that worked, and was used several times, was the oh, so original and biting “Cuomo sucks.” The vehicles supporting this rally drove around the Rath Building repeatedly, honking their horns almost nonstop; with the small number of vehicles participating, no more than 5 as far as I could tell, you got this laughable Doppler Effect of sorts as the horn blowing would come from one end of the street in front of the building, get louder as it got to the middle/our window, then start to subside as the vehicles got to the corner, had to circle around and return.

     By about 3:45 PM, the crowd seemed to lose interest, the anti-Cuomo chanting lessened and the drivers honked less; by 4 PM; people had started leaving, meaning those of us leaving work at 4:30 PM would miss out on a golden opportunity to meet and greet those douche nozzles allegedly protesting the inability to work by trying to disrupt those of us actually working. The number dropped to about 5 rally participants and they were drifting toward the nearest parking ramps. I left work at 4:30 PM out the back of the Rath Building, because that was the nearest exit to where my car was parked. There were six Erie County Sheriff’s deputies in uniform but not crowd control/riot gear in the small lobby area between the first doors and the outside doors, looking like they hadn’t had to do anything for a while.

     Yes, I seriously question the intelligence and compassion of people who apparently place the “reopening” of businesses above people’s health and mortality; no doubt people are being genuinely hurt by so many businesses being closed, but more than 70,000 deaths from COVID-19 across the US as I write this is a strong reason not to reopen anything too soon. Also, complaining about having to wear masks in public is just plain stupid and selfish; having to wear masks in public and in government buildings is not in violation of the U.S. Constitution, Just having to write the preceding sentences in this paragraph outrages me. Let’s be more thoughtful and compassionate of other people and make sure as many of us are alive to truly reopen Erie County, New York State and the USA.

     Final note: Several people have asked me if I took a photograph of this rally; no, I did not. I was working/on the clock for Erie County when it happened, and didn't feel I should do any such thing while working. 

Dispatches from the Time of the Virus IV: Wear Masks

    

The author on lunch walk, April 15, 2020

I’m furious.

     New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo issued an executive order earlier this week ordering people here to wear face masks when they are in public situations in which they are likely to come within 6 feet of other people, the standard distance to be kept through social distancing. I work in the Rath Building for the Erie County Department of Social Services; almost two weeks ago, County Executive Mark C. Poloncarz issued an executive order mandating workers entering and working in the Rath Building wear facemasks. Both of these are part of safety precautions to take due to the coronavirus/COVID-19 outbreak.

     But on my two public outings so far today, Saturday, April 18, one a two-block walk to pick up breakfast and the other a just more than 2-mile walk with our dog Harold, I witnessed an incredible lack of adherence and/or awareness of these orders and health/safety measures and no more than 50 percent of the people I encountered close by wearing masks. And by wearing masks, I mean either wearing masks or scarves, etc., fashioned as masks over their faces or even just around their neck, ready to be deployed. If people had them in their pockets, I wouldn’t know, and no one who may have made any attempt to put them on when I encountered them.

     Yes, due to my anal nature, I kept track of this on both walks, and so you know, I used the measure of about 10 feet from me, not 6 feet, because some people, like myself, try to put more distance between themselves and others at that moment. At 10 AM, I encountered 26 people as I walked just more than 2 blocks from home to Perks to pick up a telephone order. Of the 26 people, 13 were wearing masks, or 50 percent; 50 fucking percent. Of this, there were two most annoying groups, the first two Caucasians, a male and female, walking through four of us standing outside, all of us wearing masks and standing more than 6 feet from each other, waiting for orders (which were brought out to us by a masked employee), to go inside, unmasked. Just what I want, some entitled white people going unmasked into the small area Perks is using, not only where people are working and can’t leave but are preparing food. Second, what appeared to be a mother and her two young children, age about 18 months to 4 years, outside on their sidewalk, none wearing masks, as mom created inspirational COVID-19 oriented chalk art (some of which I have quoted elsewhere on social media) but not moving when other people approached them. I was walking on the same sidewalk, and on my way to get food I walked in the street, which I should not have had to do, to avoid the unmasked trio. They were gone when I walked home.

     On Harold and my walk, which took us down Norwood Avenue, Lexington Avenue, Ashland Avenue, Bidwell Parkway, Elmwood Avenue, Bryant Street and home, we encountered 65 people, only 31 of whom were wearing masks, or 47 percent. It was sad to see this even lower adherence rate on our kind of long walk, and there was one interesting short incident witnessed. We had just turned right onto Ashland Avenue off of Lexington Avenue when a man bicycled up to the dairy store there on Ashland, maskless, got off his bike and went in the door. He stopped partly inside as a voice inside asked him if he had a mask with him; he said no, he didn’t. The person then told him that he couldn’t come in without a mask. “What do you mean, I can’t come inside? I can’t make a purchase without a mask?” Yes, the person replied, you can’t come in or make a purchase here without one. As Harold and I passed by, the man then said, “Well, I don’t like New York State or what it is doing.” “Well, we don’t like idiots like you making life dangerous for us,” I said to no one in particular but apparently unheard by this man, who got on his bike and rode away.

     Look, people, this is one of the easiest steps to take to make things safer, even if a little bit, for all of us. If you are an adherent to the Libertarian/Ayn Rand clown car, that’s your choice, not mine, but you have no right to make my life more dangerous. I’ve been wearing a mask at work for about 3-4 weeks; we first received them in my part of the Erie County Department of Social Services about a month ago, and were first told we could ask clients to wear them if they appeared to have COVID-19 symptoms or were unhealthy. I immediately asked if we could wear them if we encountered unhealthy clients, and was told yes. My life was saved by medical professionals in late 2017, mainly at the Cleveland Clinic as well as by some here, and it included being on ventilators; I would be dead without them. I have no wish to be on one ever again and don’t wish that fate on anyone, so I support actions such as wearing masks at all times in public. Be safe, everyone.

Dispatches from the Time of the Virus III: Every Picture (Photograph) Tells a Story, Don't It?

     

As someone who has enjoyed and appreciated being able to take photographs that people interpret, discuss and use in some small way to make sense of life, I have been frustrated in trying to find photos that express the changes in everyday life due to the coronavirus/COVID-19 crisis.

     While my use of my iPhone 8 may place some limits on me, I also realize it is hard to take a photo that truly captures the changes in, say, downtown Buffalo, where, for those who are unaware, I work in the Rath Building for the Erie County Department of Social Services. As of this writing, I am deemed essential personnel and work at the office on an alternating schedule, Monday, Wednesday and Friday one week, Tuesday and Thursday the next week. Walking from where I park my car to work and walking on my lunch break, it is so obvious that traffic is down to the absolute minimum downtown, both for pedestrian and vehicular traffic, with the corresponding quiet. Problem is, a photo of how quiet and empty the streets are cannot be easily shown through my cell phone photos, or maybe otherwise, because you need me writing that this photo was taken at 8 AM or noon or 3 PM on a workday during certain weather to give it any context that would be different from a photo taken on a holiday or weekend. The same with a closed or empty restaurant or business, and maybe a photo of a virtually empty NFTA Metro Bus or light rail rapid transit with interspersed masked riders and staff, but no one wants to stop a bus or rail for me or anyone else to take a photograph.

     So, when I took this photograph Friday, March 28, at first I thought it was an amusing, if unplanned, play on words from Mardi Gras masks to the masks that at that time mainly medical personnel and first responders were wearing and shortages were only thought to be off in the future.  For the record, this photograph was taken of a storefront on Elmwood Avenue between West Ferry Street and Cleveland Avenue in Buffalo’s Elmwood Village. Obviously, the store closed in a bit of a hurry and days before Mardi Gars (Tuesday, March 25). I have spoken both about the above-mentioned issue with my lovely wife, Valerie Dunne, as well as about this specific photo; one of the many great things about being married to her is that she is a professional photographer. She encourages me to go with my intent and to be honest to the image and to try as hard as possible, even with the cell phone camera, to present a quality image that can tell the story. While I liked this image from the start, it took me a while to realize that this addressed several issues I’ve worried about and tells several parts of the story the more I look at it.

     While I am about to finish an installment of this series I started about a week ago (no, really) when this finally hit me, it hit me almost as hard as the first time I heard a Ramones song.